Why I hesitate to be real with people.

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This world mocks the humble, mocks the truthful, mocks the sinner for sinning, mocks the man or woman who pleads guilty, and mocks the person who strives to live a life of transparency so as to be an example of Christ to the Body of Christ. Usually the people who are forthright in their words and actions are the ones who are scorned first and fastest. No doubt, we're labeled, though it's no doubt we're labeled from the moment we're conceived. We are rejected, even by those who claim they love us and want to understand and will never wrongfully judge. We are betrayed and we are shunned. And how unfortunate it is that many people only fear being real with others when they have something unpleasant to say. There are people who shy away from speaking honestly even if it's good news that they share. Shame cripples both the happy and the troubled. It's not a matter of intelligence, because those who are smart are still hiding behind insecurities in many forms. We all still want that fig leaf and we all want to run as realization of our sin cloaks us. It's true that many won't hear us out and even though we know what is a sin as Christians, we still sin. Sometimes avoiding a person is a better option than faking a listening ear, even if the person who vents to you is blessing by your fake attentiveness.

The reason I have a hard time being real with people is because of a form of an elitist mentality. It's the whole "You wouldn't understand." And truthfully, most that I try to talk to don't understand. I've been dumped on in many ways by all kinds of people, and I expect to be dumped on. I don't like having to explain myself to people who cannot hear my heart correctly for one reason or another. This is a lousy way to live. As full of sympathy and empathy I am for what ails people, and as much as I fight against this, it is still in me. I think it's because I spend so much time studying and humbling myself daily before a fearful living God. I hold it against people that I have spent time with God and they have not. It bothers me that I seem to be sort of a cheerleader of the Christian faith. That's what I feel like, anyway. I struggle with this.

My solution: If the central focus of what I think, speak, and do is Christ, my self-preservation and pride take a back seat immediately, and then I can think in terms of how I might serve a person regardless of how I am served as a result. I cannot love based on how I am loved by a sinner. I must love based on how God loves me. This reality slaps me in the face every single day.