There is a time to divulge information, and I wait on God for that timing so that I don't unnecessarily cause anyone grief, including myself. I don't want your attention on me, but rather on God. I am, after all, only keeping this blog running because I see how God uses it, and part of being used by God no matter what medium it happens through, is good. It's never bad to be a vessel for God's honor. It takes an enormous amount of vulnerability, but I know that in order to love God, I must obey His commandments, and that means I have to love others. You can't love people without being vulnerable and humble, and serving them.
Some readers assume that a blog is written through the quiet times and stability. But the reason I don't post vacation pictures or pictures from new crafts or clothing or shopping extravaganzas because I never do those things. My quiet times are spent weeping for the lost and weeping for the arrogant, confessing my sins, praying for strength to get through today, praying for everyone God lays on my mind and heart, reading things that will build my strength and courage up, and giving thanks to God for what I have overlooked all day long while unable to pray for multiple things and people and sins. God can think about all things and all people at all times, but I can't. I'm a little limited in that department. ; )
On my blog, I can't talk about current deployments or homecomings, because they're things of my past, but I'm where I am because I'm supposed to be. It isn't a party, but I'm not walking around with my nose up, roaring at people who don't give me what I think I deserve. There are no balloons in my life, and there is no pomp and circumstance. There is freedom in simplicity, so I meditate on the truth. There is pain and there are rewards for hard work. My character grows. My garden does not.
I consistently take a lot of heat from the military community for talking about Post-Traumatic Stress and Traumatic Brain Injuries with a reformed Christian perspective. I've been uninvited to military speaking engagements by Chaplains as a result of this, have had emails go unanswered or ignored by others because I spoke truth instead of fluffing feathers, I've been asked to leave support groups online, and have been slandered publicly on blogs. I don't ask people not to judge me. If they want to, that's on them. If they're wrong, God have mercy on them. I still love them, and I still pray for them, especially if they hate me.
I'm coming at the whole war on terror and battle of the mind from a very unpopular angle. When I need encouragement about these things, I can't even turn to sisters in the military community. I have met few in Christian communities who are blunt enough and bold enough to talk to military personnel or dependents. It's lonely! I am gossiped about, I am slandered, I am ignored, I am rejected, and I am shunned. My husband deals with even more than I do, but I'm not going to write about his trials without his permission. It's happened more than once from people who claimed to be full of love and community.
What bothers me most is that all I don't lack boldness, but there are so few people who are willing to listen. No matter what, there's some qualification I have failed to meet in order to be able to speak to so and so. These are not limitations I have placed on myself. I live in a world and culture that pretends a piece of paper is the pinnacle of preparedness, but it's preposterous, because preparedness is a matter of emotional, physical, and spiritual alertness, training, knowledge and wisdom.
I truthfully believe most people will take any precaution necessary to avoid confrontation, even at the expense of the well-being of others, but especially at the expense of their own character growth. There are very few who can stand up in the midst of confrontation, still shouting the truth with all the love they have in them, and fewer who do so with a motive that is beyond a love of self. I am speaking this to the unsaved as well as "highly-educated" chaplains and pastors, since there seems to be almost no difference between council members and reprobates in this respect.
If you're unwilling to do the hard work and humble yourselves so that you can minister to others effectively, put your shoes back on. Don't dog on those Christians who are not washing your feet "correctly" since you refuse to even get your hands dirty. Praise God there are Christians who don't enable or cater to hypocrisy in their lives or in the lives of others.
Some of you will say I sound like I need a dose of humility. I've been humbled. That's why I'm able to say these things with full conviction. I warn people and they insult me. I speak the truth and then I'm slandered. My own family rejected me years ago. Do you understand? This is DAILY for me, living on the line for Christ just to be rejected by those who claim to love Him. What do you think it looks like to bear a burden and be mocked by the ignorant? This is my cross. What does yours look like?
I know what lies ahead for you who fail to repent. Do I care if I go to your meetings and conferences? Do I lose sleep when I respond to what appears to be someone searching for a friend and I try to befriend them and I never hear from them again? No. These things are the mass majority, of people looking for an answer and being discouraged because "they didn't ask for this," and "the answer is too hard." Walking down a dark alley is easier, so they go with that.
I didn't ask for my life to pan out the way it has, either. I'm not above you. I just didn't give up. I didn't get any advice. Books weren't out yet about PTSD for my husband and I. Retreats for spouses didn't exist. Do you not have a clue how easy it is for you? How much easier it is for you than it was for my husband and I?
Pull through it if you're determined. Do or die, right? Failure simply isn't an option if you put it out of your mind. It's not easy or possible to just "get over it," and I'm not saying that, so don't hear what I am not saying. I am saying you guys reject the truth because it doesn't sound right, and then you wonder why life seems so impossible and hopeless. Stop looking to people for answers and look to God instead. The only reason it doesn't sound right is because you don't know the truth. If the truth was in you, you would embrace more of it. Chaplains wonder why spiritual growth is so stunted in the military, but we don't wonder. The answer is right in front of their faces.
I'm telling you right now that my husband and I have valuable information about God in PTSD/TBI and God in government and God in CHURCH that you willfully overlook for the sake of money and a wide audience. But ask us to speak and I almost guarantee you, you will be hated as much as we are by thousands.
Why would we be hated by people who talk about love and healing and ache for it in their lives? Because people hate Jesus and we represent Him. He loved and healed, but He called people to repent and believe in Him, and to live in such a way that proved their repentance and faith true. That's basic Christianity 101. Don't forget that neither the military nor an MDiv exempts a person from the truth or the consequences of rejecting it. Being blown up in combat doesn't mean God overlooks sins and holds the mangled to a different standard, and being able to recite the Westminster Confession of Faith will be your elaborate downfall if you disengage yourself from the matters of the heart with the lame, the weak, and the crippled by life who are further crippled by those who enable stunted growth. In many cases, these warriors get suicidal because the fluffy spiritual answers people give them are just fluff, and they can't make the connection between war and the fluff. I haven't had my brain messed up from combat and I can't connect the two either, so I'm not sure who these "highly educated" spiritual leaders think they're kidding. If you missed my post about PTSD in the Old Testament, check it out.
You're not above God, sir or ma'am. You're subject to God's rule and judgment just as much as the man you secretly or not-so-secretly think you are better than because you served and he didn't. But sure. Keep those seats warm, guys. Keep at it. You're turning people into sheeple and rejoicing because your programs are growing as a result of coddles and ear-tickling but are void of the combative spiritual training that the men need in order to be men and lead regardless of their limps, missing pieces, and tangled memories. Why can't those who have fully-functioning and uninjured brains figure this out? Either they know the truth and live a lie, or they don't know the truth and they are still living a lie. Are they merely deceived like thousands even though they are in places of spiritual leadership? Do we blame the government for even silencing chaplains who pray in Jesus' name, or will not a chaplain do what is right even if this world says it is wrong? All of it leads to judgment. All of it.
Wake up, Christians.
Hiç yorum yok:
Yorum Gönder